Like most people these days, I am a member of several online groups and social media pages. I enjoy interacting with strangers and friends in a way that allows me to share my experiences while also gleaning tidbits of usefulness from others. Depending on how you use these resources we can really inspire and motivate one another to greater things. At least, that is the way that I like to look at social media. I haven’t always felt this way, but lately I have been delving deep into my personal story and working on personal growth and hopefully gaining some enlightenment through the process of forcing myself down my personal rabbit hole, so to speak.
Just the other day, a member on one of the private groups I participate in posed a question on forgiveness. The essence of the question was, How does one forgive and what does it look like when you have finally forgiven someone?
Usually I am the type of person that doesn’t feel called to comment on things and the fact is that I intentionally try not to comment because some things are just emotionally charged and the reality is my thoughts are my own and many people aren’t open to considering diverse viewpoints. This question though really touched me, because I have had to really reach deep within myself to learn about forgiveness and I really wanted to share my thoughts and experience. That of course led me to bring my thoughts here to you all.
Please know that I am in no way an expert and am only offering my thoughts and experience from a place of love and hopefully my inner spark can help you on your journey. I hope that this speaks to whoever needs to hear it.
In my own life I have been faced with challenges and pain that have been inflicted upon me by certain family members, my circle of friends/acquaintances, and ultimately myself. I went into serious depression and developed toxic behavior and attitudes that were so dangerous that I almost lost my life. In order to turn my life towards a direction of healing, I had to learn how to forgive. Not only did I have to learn to forgive the “others” but I had to learn to forgive myself, and in doing so I learned how to love myself. This was my light of hope after hitting rock bottom. I feel compelled to share with you my experience so that it might inspire some of you to do the work that you need in order to give yourself the freedom that forgiveness provides.
My thoughts are based on my personal experience, my faith, and my inner truth.
I believe that Forgiveness is an amazing gift that we have all been given the capacity for, if we so choose it. It is my belief that every single person on this planet is here for a reason and that the people that come and go into our lives, for however long, are here to offer us lessons. Sometimes these lessons are easy to receive, other times they are incredibly difficult. Sometimes these lessons bring pain so great that we cannot possibly see why we are the ones that have to endure it. Often our emotions are triggered and the anger, sadness, pain, and internal torment becomes so consuming and crippling that we are no longer ourselves, which is the amazing Divine Light of God. We are pure, beauty, and love, and it is our inner light that needs to be refueled and sometimes reignited by the forgiveness that we deserve to grant ourselves.
My thoughts are this: We all come into life with Karmic lessons that we need to work through in order to become better human beings; some “stuff” we bring with us from previous lives, other “stuff” we are born into, and last of all our paths lead us into these lessons by the choices that we make consciously and unconsciously. When you begin to make the choice to step outside of the situation that is hurting you and look at it from a different perspective, you allow yourself the insight to see “why” another person is treating you a certain way and let me give you a little nugget of truth the way I see it, “It is never about you!” When you can grasp that concept you can begin to stop making it about you and let it go. I believe this is the first step to Forgiveness.
People do things and say things inflicting all kinds of pain onto others, because their inner landscape has been damaged. It might be from this life, it might be from an accumulation of lifetimes, but these people have their own pain and torment that they are fighting. Rather than facing their “stuff” because usually they are unaware of it, they let their pain lash out onto the people around them sometimes intentionally, but usually it is unintentional. In this moment it is easy to judge and blame. It is easy to say this person is an asshole, an alcoholic, a narcissistic maniac, insert your terms here. It is easy to hold onto the pain and resentment because we feel that if we forgive, that it somehow makes the other person’s behavior okay. Stop yourself and don’t go there! That is the lie that your ego is telling you in order to prevent you from accessing the pass to freedom. The freedom to live uninhibited by the actions of others.
Ask yourself, “How are these feelings serving me?” If they are just the trigger that hits replay over and over making you relive the pain you experienced, then they are not serving you. LET – THEM – GO!!! Thoughts have serious power. Our thoughts are what shape our reality, every single day! Allowing yourself to forgive, frees up your thoughts to no longer be submersed in a cycle of negative experiences. You have the choice to accept that which was and move forward to the potential of all that can be.
Try to look at this other person and truly see into their inner spirit and recognize that they too have the Divine inside them and that they are your brother or sister here on Earth. They are souls that God has placed in your path to offer you a chance to learn something. They are sometimes so damaged that they are completely helpless. It might be the very best opportunity for you to learn true compassion. Compassion and love for someone who very well might seem like a monster. Understanding that we all carry stuff with us and some are not aware or awake enough to even acknowledge this and know what to do about it, can help you to learn compassion.
I feel like Jesus brings to us the lesson of unconditional love. It is not for us to harbor judgement and ill will towards others when we are all here to help one another, even when those lessons can be impossibly hard. I believe that when you can truly love yourself unconditionally by accepting that you are Divine Love; you are pure, beauty, and light; you are a gift to the world and you are allowed to let go of all that is not serving you and your higher self. You don’t ever have to take on the stuff that someone else wants to dump on you because it’s not your stuff! Everyone can Forgive, we all have the choice, and we all deserve the freedom that it gives us. When you can look back on a situation and/or a person and see it with a heart filled with compassion, then I believe you are on your way to Forgiveness. When you allow yourself to be humbled by an experience, but make the choice to not let that experience define you, then you are on a path towards self acceptance.
Life is ripe with lessons and we have the choice to acknowledge them and grow or suffer and stagnate. I encourage you to take back your power and learn to forgive. Forgiveness is all about you, and you are worth it! Forgive the people and situations that were a part of your story and accept that experience as an opportunity for you to learn. Recognize that you are amazing because of everything that you have been through. We all have “stuff”, but the more you learn to use that stuff as a ladder to step up and transcend, the happier you will be and the more enjoyable your life will be.
I offer you blessings on your journey and I believe in you.
I would love to hear your thoughts on forgiveness and how it has touched your life. Please leave me a comment and share with your friends who might need to hear this message!